3 Ways To Be Your Husband’s Helper

This week we’re reading chapter 9 of Messy Beautiful Love by Darlene Schacht, and we’re talking about being a helper (or “help meet”) to our husbands. We hear that all the time, but what does it really mean to be our husband’s helper? I recently read this post on the Club 31 Women blog that has a pretty great description for you. So now that we know what it means to be a helper to our husbands, I’d like to talk about HOW we can do that so I’m sharing with you 3 ways to be your husband’s helper today

In Genesis 2:18 we read, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” While it may be counter cultural to say so, we have been created to fulfill a very special purpose in our families – that of a helper to our husbands. Darlene brings up a very interesting point here; “God could have chosen to populate this world exclusively with men, but He chose to create human beings who are perfectly suited, yet different from men in so many ways.” Have you ever stopped to wonder why men and women are so different? It’s because we were created to fulfill different roles in God’s plan. 

So how do we fulfill the role that we have been created for? Here are 3 practical things you can do today to be your husband’s helper:

1. Pray 

In John 15:5 Jesus says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” We all know that, yet for some crazy reason we all seem to try to do things on our own. If this is the first time you’ve tried to be more of a helper in your marriage, then you’re going to need some help. What better way to get the help we need than through prayer? Pray for God’s wisdom and guidance as you try to learn how to be your husband’s helper.

Prayer is also one of the best ways to be your husband’s helper. We should always be praying for our spouse in whatever they’re going through. We sometimes think that we should be able to fix any problem that comes our way, but sometimes that’s just not going to happen. Especially in those situations, we need to turn in prayer to the One who can solve any problem that life throws at us.

2. Encourage Him

Some of the best advice Paul ever gave to the early church was “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) This wasn’t necessarily meant to be marriage advice, but it couldn’t fit better with what we are talking about today. Take some time to think about the words that you speak to your husband. Are you a source of encouragement, or does he feel discouraged after talking to you? Are you making an effort to build him up, or are you tearing him down?

One of the best things we can do for our husbands is to make them feel secure and know that we are always on their side. I’d like to think that even when things don’t go his way, my husband knows that I will always love him. I want to be his biggest cheerleader so that he knows he always has someone who is behind him 100%.

3. Willingly Submit to Him

In Ephesians 5:22-24 we read, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” There will

Just as we were created to be a helper, our husbands were created to be leaders. It doesn’t make any sense at all for us to try to fulfill our God-given roles if we’re not stepping back and allowing our husbands to lead. If you’re having a hard time with this, remember that you are called to submit to your husband, not for your husband. 

The reason we as Christian wives should submit to our husbands is because that is what God has called us to do. It has nothing to to with your husband’s leadership skills or whether we feel they’re doing a good job. We submit, simply because that is what we have been commanded to do. 

Darlene’s Challenge:

Take your eyes off the world and run into the arms of our Lord. Seek His will for your life. Search the Scriptures daily, and spend time with Him in prayer asking that He guide your role as a wife. What does the Lord require of you? Listen for His voice, and when you hear it, forsake everything else to follow Him.


This post has been linked on Grace & Truth.


  1. Holly Brown

    This is great, thank you for linking this up with at Grace & Truth! This is series material, you should think about doing a series on this topic!
    Holly Brown recently posted…Final Trust & Inspiration {& Link-up}My Profile

  2. danielle

    I really appreciated this blog post! I want to share this in my weekly series called “Roll Out The Red Carpet Thursday” – I share bloggers’ amazing posts that I’ve found during the week. I hope that’ ok! Have a wonderful day! 🙂

    1. Kristin Potts (Post author)

      That’s more than OK Danielle! I’m glad you enjoyed the post, and I’ll be sure to check out your series as well.

  3. Pingback: Roll Out The Red Carpet Thursday #17 - Snippets of Inspiration

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