This week we’re on chapter 12 of Messy Beautiful Love. So far in this book we’ve received lots of valuable advice for our marriages, but this chapter covers what is probably my favorite aspect of marriage – friendship. So our advice for this week is to be your husband’s best friend.
“There are many ways to capture the heart of your husband, but if you want to capture his heart for a lifetime, work on being his friend. Be that person who makes him laugh and cheers him on. Assure him that he can trust his heart with you, and remind him how much you love him.”
I’ve heard so many times in different marriage books and blogs that you should try to be friends with your husband in addition to just being his wife, but in this chapter Darlene takes it one step further by saying that you should be your husband’s best friend.
Did you know that having friendship in marriage is Biblical? I didn’t until I read this chapter. Darlene points us to Titus 2:3-4, which says:
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.”
We are called to love our husbands in every way, but this passage is speaking of the love of friendship. In the original Greek, the word used for love in this passage is phileo, which refers to friendship. So in addition to loving our husbands as we traditionally think of, we are also called to be their friends.
Have you ever heard the saying “I love you, I just don’t like you”? That’s what came to my mind when I was reading this chapter. We are being challenged this week to both love and like our husbands. If you’re in a season in your marriage where that idea seems far fetched, I’d encourage you to spend some time in prayer because as Darlene tells us “if you are praying or your marriage, you’re definitely not the only one working on this. God is at work.”
Sit down and make a list of what you consider to be a good friend…Once your list is complete, review it wisely. In what areas of your relationship is God calling you to grow? Talk it through with your husband. What are his thoughts? Bring it to prayer, asking God to guide your steps and strengthen your bond of friendship.”