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The First Step in Praying for Your Husband is to Pray for Yourself
While that Idea may seem counterintuitive, I have to say that I LOVE the way Stormie Omartian begins this book! She shares with us that in the beginning of her marriage her prayers usually focused around the things that she wanted God to change about her husband. Let’s be honest here, haven’t we all done that? “God, make him less stubborn.” “Lord, things would be so much easier if you’d just make him more kind.” The list could go on and on, but the point that Stormie makes in the very first chapter of The Power of a Praying Wife is that in order to effectively pray for our husbands, we have to go to Him with a right heart. So this week, I hope you will all pray this with me: “God, change MY heart first.”
If you’re reading this book, or even just reading this post, you’re starting out in a good place. If you’re making the choice to pray for your husband routinely, then you’re on the right track. Stormie tells us that if we want those prayers to be answered fully, they have to come from a pure heart. The point that she is trying to make in this chapter is that even though there may be things about our husbands that drive us crazy and that we wish God would change, we first have to admit that we are far from perfect ourselves. In order to offer a more pleasing prayer to God, we need to humble ourselves before Him and admit to our imperfections, shortcomings, and even our sins in our marriages. So before you start praying “God, change my husband” you first need to pray “God change my heart towards my husband.” If you’re having some big problems in your marriage right now, that may seem like something that is impossible, but remember a change in heart can lead to a change in perspective.
In addition to a change in heart, Stormie also addresses something that causes trouble in most marriages – expectations. Are you looking to your husband to fulfill you in a way that only God can? Do you expect your husband to be superman, or at the very least super-husband? Take some time to think about the expectations that you have for your husband. You may find that they are unrealistic, and that no one could ever live up to them.
“If we try to control our husbands by having a big list for them to live up to and then are angry or disappointed when they can’t, we are the ones in error.”
You may be asking yourself why you have to be the one to change when your husband is the problem in your marriage, and Stormie addresses that too. She shares with us the dialog of a conversation she had with God many times at the beginning of her journey to pray for her husband. Here’s a piece of that conversation that I think we all need to hear:
“Why me, God? He’s the one that needs to change.”
“The point is not who needs to change. The point is who is willing to change.”
“But God, this isn’t fair.”
“I never said life is fair. I said I am fair.”
That’s some pretty powerful stuff, isn’t it? The first chapter of this book is full of very powerful advice and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the book holds for us! If you haven’t purchased your copy of The Power of a Praying Wife yet, it’s not too late. We’re just getting started and I really hope you’ll join us!