Humility in Marriage

Week 3 – Humility in Marriage

You and Me Forever

Ch. 3 : Learn to Fight Well


This chapter served me one slice of humble pie after another… I often find myself torn between two capacities of my life; the need to be an authority leader in the military and the yearning to be a submissive wife to my more than laid back husband. The military has groomed me for 14 years to be aggressive and outspoken; often fighting to show my worth in a man’s world. On the other hand, the wife in me has been battling to be the submissive woman I am called to be. Needless to say, I have spent more time learning to fight than to submit and have become good at it. A key take away for me form this chapter was that when I fight with my husband, I am actually opposing God and inviting His opposition in return – NO THANK YOU! 

We are often told ‘you deserve to be happy.’ I am not sure I agree with this, although I know I have said it in the past. Society tells us, we deserve to live comfortably and to fight for our rights. With the Women’s Rights movement in full force, it blurs a man’s role today, what a confusing time to be a man. Jesus NEVER fought for His rights, He was trampled over and over again; enduring unimaginable suffering.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings.

– 1 Peter 4:12-13

I always anticipated a certain amount of ‘trials’ but have often found myself saying ‘this is unfair’. It is those times that non-believers ask why we follow a God that allows such pain. It is our response that speaks volumes, we are called to imitate Christ and that means His humility in suffering. We spread the gospel during our highs and our lows. We love to share the work God has done in our lives (the good things) and unintentionally create fine print of Christianity. We share answered prayers and the promise of forgiveness, but neglect to share the inevitable trials and His command for obedience and repentance. If we do not share the gospel in its entirety, we cheapen it and what Christ did on the cross.

Have you noticed the word ‘submit’ is taken out of many vows in today’s wedding ceremonies? Submission is imitating Christ. As unnatural as it feels sometimes, it is what God calls me to do; to be humble. No matter what society tells you, humility does not mean being a doormat. Your mindset is everything, a humble perspective will alter any marriage.

Men have been given a huge task, to love us as Jesus loved the church; we should see Jesus in the way our husbands love us. It is our responsibility to acknowledge our husband’s sacrifices. He does not have to go to the cross for us. Even small actions like taking out the trash or changing the oil in the car – even making the appointment – can be sacrifices.

Are you often the winner of arguments in your marriage? Do you feel more or less like Christ in that moment of ‘victory’?

Carli Hetrick


Carli is the wife of a true outsdoorsman and a mama to their 5 month old daughter, Remington.  She is currently attempting to settle into old responsibilities of her part-time Air Force duties, part-time work from home and new responsibilities of being a mama, while attempting to continue to nourish homemaking and her marriage.  Carli has an great passion for horses and the outdoors, she is looking forward to taking time to sink into this book with all of you.


Carli would love to connect with you on Facebook.

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